How to Stop Living on Autopilot with Antonio Neves

Episode #23

How to Stop Living on Autopilot with Antonio Neves

Show Notes:

Are you ready to make a change in the way you're living your life? Antonio Neves joins us as our first guest on Business on the Bright Side to discuss his book, Stop Living on Autopilot!

In this episode, we talk through authenticity, knowing who you are, and surrounding yourself with quality community! If you're ready to stop living on autopilot, you need to hear this conversation with Antonio!

This episode of Business on the Bright Side was recorded as part of the January 2020 You 2.0 Challenge hosted by Bright Pages, a guided online journal for people who do. Try Bright Pages today and get 20% off the annual plan with the code POD!

A new job, new zip code, or more money can’t save you. It’s an inside job.

Meet Antonio (2:25)

Being Authentic (9:45)

How do you introduce yourself? (15:16)

Good Fear vs. Bad Fear (17:28)

Thieves vs. Allies (26:58)

Links
theantonioneves.com
Stop Living on AutoPilot by Antonio Neves
Armchair Expert by Dax Shepard

Review the Transcript:

Jess:
Without further ado, I'm going to introduce my good friend, Antonio. And hello, Antonio.

Antonio:
Hey, happy Monday. What's good from Los Angeles?

Jess:
You just have a really just relaxed week ahead of you, don't you?

Antonio:
Really, nothing big. Well, first let's be clear. Isn't it great that there's not a pandemic taking place right now? And isn't it just great that our democracy is working seamlessly as our forefathers planned? Yeah, I have a book coming out tomorrow, Stop Living on Autopilot.

Jess:
Tomorrow.

Antonio:
And can I just say briefly, Jess, it can be a stressful week, you and I have texted about this. One thing that has helped me relieve the stress and anxiety and all the external stuff is actually writing down words, journaling, getting all the crazy thoughts out of my head.

Jess:
So, what was the writing process like for you writing Stop Living on Autopilot? Did you enjoy it? Was it like pulling teeth? What was it like?

Antonio:
It was like working a shift. I think a lot of people think when they write a book it's going to be like Xanadu and there's going to be toucans flying around in the backyard and there's going to be this perfect light streaming in. I had this vision of writing the book, like at some writer's retreat or some colony. But I'm married, I have four-year-old toddler twins. That wasn't going to happen.

Antonio:
So, I ended up writing this book in the midst of real life, in the midst of traveling and speaking. I'd go to the libraries at UCLA's campus. I'd get up early before my kids got up. Periodically, I would do a weekend stay at a hotel here in Los Angeles, just to get as much done as possible. But I am one of those people that, I write in shifts. So I put timers on. I'll just set a timer for 45 minutes, I'll write for 45, stop, take a 15-minute break, and write again. But it wasn't pulling teeth. It was a shift, a fun shift.

Jess:
Well, and one of the things that I've loved watching about your journey is how open you've been about being a black self-help writer in this industry. And where did you get that article published, was it Publishers Weekly?

Antonio:
Publishers Weekly, yeah. Self-help personal development books are my jam. If you look at my bookshelf, that's all you see. But at some point along the journey of getting this book published, I looked at my bookshelf and I realized I didn't see anyone that looked like me in this category. And I went through this whole existential crisis. I'm like, "Will people buy a book, a self-help personal development book that looks like me?" Not only-

Jess:
Yeah. I remember you called me about that. And you were like, "Should I put my picture on the book?" And I was like, "Hell yeah, you should put your picture on the book!" But that was probably a lot of my privilege talking, so I was like, why not? And it's something that I've never had to think about. And I think today on MLK Day, what an opportunity to talk about this and bring it up.

Antonio:
Yeah. I think my fear was someone would go into a bookstore or there'd be at the airport and then see this cover of the book that really, really talked to them, they'd read the back of the book and they'd be like, "Oh, this sounds good." Then they'd open it up and they'd see a picture of me and they're like, "Oh, it's not for me." Probably the same way people will see a movie poster and if the movie poster has all black actors on it, are people going to assume that movie can be for them? And of course the answer is yes. So, I had this existential crisis, but of course my photo's all up in there.

Jess:
And I helped vote on that photo.

Antonio:
Thank you.

Jess:
So, it was a good pick. So, in the spirit of today's prompt with Bright Pages talking about childhood story, when you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?

Antonio:
When I was a kid, of course like most kids, I wanted to be an athlete. I loved baseball, I loved basketball, all those sports. But I remember really poignantly wanting to be an engineer. And I had no idea what an engineer did, all I knew is the one dude in my town that I knew that was an engineer had a nice car and a nice house. So, I figured that's maybe something that I could pursue. I didn't take into consideration that math is not my jam. But I remember just thinking about being an engineer because that guy that lived on the other side of town with those nice homes with a garage, so maybe I should do that.

Jess:
Yeah. That's so funny. Okay. So, tell us first, what is Stop Living on Autopilot about? Why did you write it? Why do people need to read this now? It comes out tomorrow.

Antonio:
Yeah. Well first, in honor of Martin Luther King Day, I just want to share a quote from MLK that really speaks to Stop Living on Autopilot. And the quote is this, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter. Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter." That may sound like we're talking just about society, but I think we're also talking about ourselves as well, and our dreams and our aspirations.

Antonio:
Jess, I believe that a tombstone can have three dates: the date that we're born, the date that we give up, and the date that we die. And there is a lot of time between the date that people give up and the date that people die. I found myself about six years ago in that place where, even though everything on the internet looked good, this guy is killing it, he's figured things out, he has a great career, internally, I was slowly wilting. I was slowly dying. Atrophy was setting in.

Antonio:
What I found that in my life, Jess, is that I was going through the motions in many ways. I was on cruise control. All of those things that got me to where I was in my career, that kid that moved to New York City with less than $1,000 in his bank account hoping to break into the television industry, all the things that I used to do pretty much went away in my life and I was living on autopilot. So, I knew I needed to activate some things to make sure I was living a life that I was proud of and I was fully committed to. And so I share a lot of things in this book for those men and women who feel like they are going through the motions, even though society says they've done everything they're supposed to, things they can do to become bolder and become more courageous again.

Jess:
Well, it's funny that, I feel like when I first read your book, because you so graciously sent me a copy early, you and I have been friends, good friends, for years. And I felt like, "Holy crap. I didn't even know you." And I had no idea, because in my mind from the moment I met you, so Antonio and I first met through the same speakers bureau. When I first became a speaker, we joke that he was at my first ever gig, and I asked him to hit the play button on my tripod camera so I could get a demo reel going. But you were always the goal. You were what I was aspiring to be, a writer for Forbes, for Inc. You were the guy on Nickelodeon that I watched all the time. And then when I read your book and realized some of the struggle, the imposter syndrome, the mental traps that you fell into, Ive got to say, it was almost a relief. I was like, "Okay, he's not perfect. Sometimes [crosstalk 00:09:34]

Antonio:
"His life was messed up. Yay!"

Jess:
"Thank God! He's just as messed up as I am." Is that bad to say?

Antonio:
No. Listen, we make a lot of assumptions about our friends, our family members. And most people look, they tell us that, "How are you doing?" "I'm doing great. Everything's okay." But that's only just the surface. I think we're afraid to say certain things out loud. And I had retreated from life. Again, I gave this impression to family and friends that everything was great, but things were not great in my life. It got so bad, Jess, and I opened the book with this, I became a secret cigarette smoker.

Jess:
Oh my God, the gardening gloves.

Antonio:
Listen, cigarette smoking is something that I despise, but here I was, hiding. I used to wear this bright green gardening glove and I would hide in alleys in Los Angeles or wherever I was, and I would smoke cigarettes. And I wore the bright green gardening glove because my wife didn't know that I smoked, so she couldn't smell it. One day, Jess, I'm smoking one of these cigarettes in a Santa Monica street alley, a homeless man comes up to me-

Jess:
Stuff I thought you would never say.

Antonio:
Right. Exactly. Things I didn't think I would ever say. This man who I perceive to be homeless comes up to me and asks could he borrow a couple of cigarettes. And I'm like, "Sure, man. You can have a couple of my Camel Crush Menthol Cigarettes." We sit there smoking together, like smokers do, at some point he was like, "Yo, man. What's up with that green glove?" And I said, "Oh, my wife doesn't know that I smoke. I wear this so she doesn't smell the stench." Jess, he looked at me like I committed a crime, like he felt sorry for me. And he says something I will never forget. He said, "Hey, man. You got to figure that out." Here I am, a man that's speaking-

Jess:
Talk about getting a wake up call.

Antonio:
A man that's speaking on stages sometimes to 5,000 people, award-winning journalist, I have the house with the white fence everybody talks about, married with kids. And here a man is telling me I have to figure this out. And you know what? He was absolutely right. That moment right there, I believe angels can show up at different moments in our lives. He was an angel to me in that moment. That was a penultimate moment, big word alert. That was a penultimate moment that shifted me in a brand new direction that I knew things had to change.

Antonio:
And just briefly, in the book I talk about this whole notion of this is powerful question, there are a lot of questions in this book, more questions than answers. Because I think, like your prompts that you do with Bright Pages, I think questions are way better than answers. And the question I have, Jess, is if your life was a movie, what would the lead character start doing to turn things around?

Jess:
So spot-on.

Antonio:
And I had to ask myself that question.

Jess:
When the music picks up and all of a sudden it's a new day and they wake up. When I read that part in your book, I got goosebumps. I'm like, "If I was the lead in my own movie, what would be the pivotal point that changed things for me?"

Antonio:
And that's the thing that we have to do. This book, by the way, I think a lot of personal development self-help books are nice pats on the back.

Jess:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). [crosstalk 00:12:39]

Antonio:
This book is kind of a hint to this-

Jess:
It's a look in the mirror. It's a look in the mirror, for sure.

Antonio:
It's a real look in the mirror so it asks these tough questions. But I think I asked questions like "What would the lead character start doing?" because at some point we forgot, I forgot, Jess, that I was the lead character. That I had a say in this. I was pointing my fingers at everyone in society, complaining about X, Y, and Z, but I forgot that I had a say in this. And I had to take accountability for my life, about the decisions I was making, but let's go here, the decisions I was not making. Let me remind everyone and remind myself on this Monday morning, Jess, that not making a decision is making a decision. I think we forget that.

Jess:
Yeah. That's spot on. One of the things in the book that spoke to me in the moment, I wanted to pull this quote up here, was "A new job, new zip code, or more money can't save you. Only you can. It's an inside job."

Antonio:
Ooh. Can I just say Ooh.

Jess:
Ooh, family.

Antonio:
Because we think if we quit our job and move to Bali, we think that if we get that car, we think if we get the house, we think that if we carry that bag, that all of a sudden things are going to miraculously be fixed. And that's not the case for whatever. This is the work that we have to commit to every single day. And in society, we talk a lot about the word "commit." And that's cool. The word we don't talk enough about, Jess, is "recommit." Because after you commit, every single day you have to recommit to what's most important. Committing is easy. But you have to recommit every single day. And that's why it's so important to have amazing communities around us to do that.

Jess:
Well, I'll admit, I fell into this mentality in this trap with the Airstream trip, I did have a little bit of this mindset of, "Oh, this new chapter in my life, minimalism, and leaving our home and getting an Airstream is literally going to be this checkbox to a lot of my problems." And your problems are in the seat right beside you, in the passenger seat. They buckle up with you. And so that was one of the reasons why I started Bright Pages. It's like you said, it's the questions that we have to ask ourselves sometimes not constantly looking for the answers, but asking ourselves the questions and making it an inside job every single day.

Antonio:
A hundred percent. If I heard you correctly, we're about to get into some about me work. Right?

Jess:
Yeah.

Antonio:
So I think, what's great about this, as well as we so much in society, we define ourselves by certain titles, right? A question I also ask in the book, which is a very powerful one, Jess, is this: if you had to introduce yourself to a stranger, but you couldn't reference your job or your career, how would you introduce yourself? Most people struggle. If you could not reference your career or your job, how would you introduce yourself? I mean, if I can't reference being a speaker, if I can't reference being a coach, I can't reference being an author. You know what I can say all of a sudden? I'm Gigi's husband, I'm August's dad, I'm Harper's father. That makes me stand tall. And let me just briefly remind people, and I know you have an amazing process you're doing with people for this about me section for themselves is that sometimes the most sexy things, the most wild things about us that make us interesting are the things that would rarely, if ever show up on a Google search.

Antonio:
What makes me who I am? Yeah, great, I've been an award winning journalist. I've worked for all the major televisions in New York City. Yes, I have this book. Yes, I speak to stages sometimes of 5,000 people, but do you know, I self-published three books before this book ever came out? I had to invest in myself. Do you know I moved to New York city with less than a thousand dollars in my bank account? Do you know that I hosted a retreat in Nicaragua when I probably shouldn't have done that? Do you know I I used to sell raised rates programs at a NASCAR track near my hometown. All these different things that have shaped me, who I am, very rarely if ever show up on the internet. And those are the things that make people lean in and say, "Tell me more about that."

Jess:
So with that, I love that. Thinking about who are we when we strip away what we do? Because we're not always what we do, we're who we are. And I've had to work on that relationship with myself constantly associating myself with, "Oh, the headband girl. Oh, headbands of hope." And I'm like, I feel like I'm a lot more than that. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like I am.

Jess:
Another part of the book that resonated with me that I think is worth discussing is the difference between bad fear and good fear, because there's so many self-help authors out there talking about like lean into fear. Like fear is your friend. Fear is a good thing. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. So can you explain the difference for us?

Antonio:
Yeah. I think first good fear, let's rewind for a quick second. If we think about psychology for a second, we talk a lot about fear. I think a lot of people don't realize the psychologist will tell you that fear and excitement are the same thing. They're pretty much the exact same emotion. Fritz Perls, the father of something called Gestalt Therapy said this quote that I love, it's going to hit people in the face right now. I hope you're buckled up. He says, "Fear is excitement without the breath. Fear is excitement without the breath." So think about this. Have you ever been an athlete before? You've been tight, right? Then there's moments if we get tight, you're not breathing, that's fear. But in those moments, when you're really leaning into something, you're actually breathing. So it turns into excitement.

Antonio:
So first, I invite people during moments when they're feeling fear about something, pursuing a brand new endeavor, sharing more of their story, pushing publish on a blog post or Instagram posts, if they feel that nervous energy, ask themselves, "Hey, can I find a way to get excited about this as opposed to being fearful about this?"

Antonio:
I'm a firm believer that that bad fear keeps us standing still where we are. We're not going to move. We're not going to move forward, but good fear actually propels us forward. It means that we're stretching ourselves. I like to talk about finding the edge. And for all of you who've ever been an athlete before, or you've ever been a performer before, or you've ever had a crush on someone before-

Jess:
Never.

Antonio:
Yeah, never. But when you get that increased heart rate or you get those butterflies in your stomach or your throat gets dry, because you're about to speak on a stage or your hands start shaking. That's like the best for me, you're finding the edge. That's that good fear, right? That tells you that you are stretching yourself, that you are growing yourself, that you are moving forward.

Antonio:
So I always like to ask people when is the last time you were about to do something that it made your heart rate increase? When was the last time you were about to do something that going to stretch you so much out of your comfort zone that you got butterflies or your hands started shaking? And I'm not talking about like robbing the local convenience store.

Jess:
Right.

Antonio:
I'm talking about hitting Publish. I'm talking about asking a question in the comments and sharing more about yourself. I'm talking about having that tough conversation with the family member or friend that you've been avoiding. I'm talking about pressing Publish. So yeah. Good fear and bad fear, I think are two different things. And for me, that fear tells me that I'm onto something.

Jess:
And I think that one of the funny parts about being a self-help author is the things that we teach are also the things that we need to hear because you and I have had many of these conversations when my book was coming out, you were there for me. Hopefully I've been there for you with this book release. But you know, the fear that you're also feeling around Stop Living on Autopilot coming out tomorrow, it is that Publish button for you. It is that leap of faith. And it is like something that can be so scary and so vulnerable, but at the same time, like you're moving the pieces on the chess board. You're not standing still. So I hope that you take a moment today before to acknowledge that.

Antonio:
Thank you. I appreciate that. I've had to remind myself to get excited about this because I've found my found myself in recent days feeling really, really tight feeling really, really stressed. Getting heartburn. I was talking to a good mutual friend of ours, [Besam Terazi 00:20:41] and Besam [crosstalk 00:20:43] "Hey man, let me ask you a question." He's perfect whenever I'm going through stuff. He says, "When you were daydreaming about having a book published with a major publishing house, did you also daydream about having heartburn and being stressed out?" I'm like, "No, I didn't daydream about it." He's like, "Enjoy yourself, man. Whether that book sells one copy or a million copies." I think so much in life, we let our markers of success be external.

Jess:
Right.

Antonio:
And we have to let our markers of success be internal. This book is already a success because it's happening. Just briefly, years ago, someone asked me, "How do you get that blue check mark?" Right? That verified check mark that I have on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, whatever. Now I was telling this college student once you get it, I was about to explain it to him, and I said, "Well, let me tell you something. You were verified the day that you were born. Like no blue check mark can verify you." I get why we want it in society, et cetera, but we were all verified the day that we were born. And we have to find those markers of success that are internal, as opposed to external. The external stuff is just what they call the cherry on the ice cream or the cherry on the top?

Jess:
I was that person too. I was like thinking that I want the set and I would see the world in color once I was verified and I woke up one day and it happened and it's still the same color.

Antonio:
It's still the same color.

Jess:
Still the same color.

Jess:
Hey, real quick. Have you ever felt like you were made for more, but you're just not sure what it is that you want to create? Or maybe you have a ton of ideas bubbling over like champagne, but you just don't even know where to begin. A blank page in front of you can feel daunting and overwhelming. So I wanted to create a guided online journal designed to give people the clarity they need to make the world just a little bit brighter. Bright Pages is a guided online journal for people who do. Here's, how it works. You have your own private journal with a designated log-in and each day you get a daily prompt inside the platform, but it's also emailed to you and you can just reply directly to that email with the prompt and it will save it into your journal. Technology. Am I right?

Jess:
One of my favorite Bright Pages features are the prompt pathways. You can pick a pathway based on a goal that you have, whether it's writing a book, crafting a talk, or maybe starting a business, or even just getting out of a creative funk. Then you'll get prompts delivered to you for one week based on that specific pathway that you chose. I mean, sign me up. Business on the Bright Side listeners get a special discount. So head to brightpages.com and enter the code POD to get 20% off the annual plan. That's brightpages.com and enter the code POD. P-O-D.

Jess:
What you were saying reminded me of Dax Shepard's podcast, Armchair Expert. And I can't remember who he was talking to, but he had directed a movie. I think it was like Chips that came out and it did well, it wasn't this like crazy box office hit. And he said, "Could you imagine..." And this is perfect, because we're talking about childhood stuff this week. "Could you imagine going back in time in a time machine seeing like young Dax and saying to him, 'Hey, one day you're going to make a movie and it's going to be in theaters all over the world. And all of these people are going to like watch it.'" Would young Dax be like, "But how much did it make?"

Antonio:
That's funny. That's funny. How much did it make?

Jess:
Can you imagine, zooming back to young Antonio and saying, "One day, you're going to have a book that's going to come out with one of the most prestigious publishers in the world." And would you ask Antonio yourself and be like, "But how many copies did it sell?" No! Those are- [crosstalk 00:24:42]

Antonio:
How many people on Good Reads marked it as a good read?

Jess:
Right? [crosstalk 00:24:50] Or Go Amazon [crosstalk 00:24:50]?

Antonio:
Jess, you bring up such a great point, and let me just speak to the audience for a quick second. And I send texts out the way Jess does to people, and yesterday my texts in my group, I just wanted to remind people of how far they've come. I don't know who's watching this right now, but you probably have come farther than you think you have. So we need to press pause sometimes and just acknowledge ourselves for how far we have come. Right?

Antonio:
Yes, there's work to do. There's work for me to do in so many regards yet. I'm the dude that came from a small town in Michigan, one of those towns that people don't leave. Before I graduated from high school, I moved over 15 times in my small hometown. Between my mom and dad are like six total divorces. They've been divorced like three times. I've lived in some crazy situations, instability shelters, you name it. And so you're right. When I think about would I be worried about sales and rankings? No, I'd be just so proud that I've got this far. So thank you for that reminder, Jess.

Jess:
Absolutely. And one of the final quotes that I'll share for the book, and if anyone has any questions from Antonio, throw them in the comments but, "Surround yourself with people who are excited to see you win." And I love this because you have been that person for me over the years, especially since day one. I was telling you this the other day, but when you were at my first ever paid speaking engagement, I was so nervous. I had no idea. I think I had like a Prezi PowerPoint, the one that like spins around and it was probably not my best effort, but at the end, I'm like, "How did I do?" Just looking for you. And you were like, "Jess, cross it off as a win." Like you just had your first paid speaking engagement.

Jess:
And there's been so many times in my life where I immediately want to analyze what I just did or why I'm doing it. And I hear you in my head saying, "Cross it off as a win."

Antonio:
Yes.[crosstalk 00:26:40]

Jess:
And so surround yourself with people who are excited to see you win and quickly, can you explain this in the Allies of Glory and Thieves of Ambition, and because this is one of my favorite parts of the book and honestly who you are and what you stand for.

Antonio:
Well first, thank you. You've been an amazing friend and supporter of me in so many realms as well. That was one of my earliest speaking gigs ever too. So I'll never forget that day. And I'm not surprised by anything that you do. And I love how you're stretching yourself and making it and allowing yourself to continue to grow. I believe that we can spend time with thieves or allies. In the book I call them thieves of ambition and allies of glory. Thieves are those people that don't encourage you, that don't inspire you, that don't challenge you, that don't push you, that don't hold you accountable to be the best version of yourself. Thieves are those people that when you spend time with them, they wear you out. I bet all of you have someone in your life, if you spend time with them, when you leave, you're just worn out. And thieves are those people that always, and I mean always, have some type of drama going on in their lives.

Antonio:
Like you call them, you're like, "Yo, what's up?" And the first thing they say is, "You're not going to believe what just happened to me." Like, yo, why are things always happening to you and no one else?

Antonio:
But on the flip side, we can choose to spend time with allies. Allies are those people that do encourage us, that do inspire us, that do challenge us, that do push us, that do hold us accountable to be the absolute best version of ourselves. When you spend time with allies, these people give you energy. They don't take energy away. Allies don't have drama going on in their lives, they have great things going on in their lives. And the great thing about allies is they don't even have to be your best friends. People you see every single day, they could be the folk that are in this group right now and that you're commenting with, that are rooting for you that are on your squad.

Antonio:
A question I have for everyone right now, just to briefly think about is this and that is, think about the five people you spend the most time with, or look at the last five. By the way, I'm pretty confident, I don't have a case for my phone. Think about the five people you spend the most time with, or look at your last five text messages and ask yourself this question. Do the five people I spend the most time with, do the five people I text with the most, do they make me better? Do they make me better or they keep me standing still where I am settling for the status quo, settling for mediocrity, allowing me to live on autopilot, allowing me to live on cruise control when I know there is so much more inside of me to give a? A really tough decision.

Antonio:
It's a really tough question to ask ourselves. And not only do we have to ask ourselves are the people around me, allies, but are we being allies to others? That's why doing what you're doing right now is so critical because there are people in our day-to-day life that may not encourage us the way you're going to get encouraged in the comments. You're not going to be encouraged when you share your description of your About Page, et cetera, like what a beautiful place to be. So if you're saying, I hear you Antonio, but I don't have these people in my life, yes you do, because you're participating right now.

Antonio:
Jess, I don't know about you. I've had some coffee, but I'm feeling fired up.

Jess:
I'm feeling fired up just listening to you. Everyone who is listening, go grab his book, stoplivingonautopilot.com. It comes out tomorrow. If you're you're listening right now during You 2.0, but if you're listening on the podcast, it is already out. So go grab it. I know I'm speaking for myself. Reviews were so helpful to get traction for Chasing the Bright Side. Once you read it, write a review on Amazon, on Good Reads. Anything else people should do, Antonio?

Antonio:
You just said it all. You just said it all. Stopped living on autopilot.com. The reviews. You just said it all.

Jess:
And shoot him a DM. I mean like so many people DM me and say, "I know you're probably not going to read this," or "I know that you get so many of these, but I'm just going to tell you," let me tell you, I read every single one of them and they make my dang day.

Jess:
And this just goes for anything, anyone, if you read a book that you love, I know you're going to love Stop Living on Autopilot. Let the author know. This is literally why we do it. And we need those, those pats on the back every once in a while, but go to stoplivingonautopilot.com. I know so many of you have already. Danny just bought the audio book. If you have enjoyed listening to this, the audio book I've already listened to it, is like Antonio is sitting in your living room. And I think when you read the audio book, how many cups of coffee did you have?

Antonio:
Oh my goodness. I did the rare thing of I think I did coffee and red bulls, which I've never did that.

Jess:
Oh, Lord.

Antonio:
It was fun.

Jess:
What a combination. Awesome. Thank you Antonio. Anything else? Where else can they find you? Anything else you got going on that you want to share?

Antonio:
I'm everywhere on the internet at The Antonio Neves. One day, this guy in Brazil is going to not re-up on AntonioNeves.com and I'll get it. Until then I'm The Antonio Neves.

Antonio:
Last thing I want to say, Jess, is you are an ally to me, you have been that. We just briefly talked about the audio book. When I was reading my audio book, I received the most amazing text message from Jess and she sent me a Starbucks gift card. She's like, "Hey, it's going to be a long couple of days. Go get this specific drink with the honey or whatever tea it's going to help you." Come on. Of all the things Jess has to do, the fact that on the day that I was reading my audio book, she took the moment to like, not only give me a shout out, but actually pre-bought me a beverage. That tells you everything that you need to know about Jess. So thank you for being an amazing ally and amazing friend. And I can't wait to see you and give you a high five in person.

Jess:
Thanks, Tony. We love you. Thanks for coming on today and go get Stop Living on Autopilot. Thanks Tony. See you soon.

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MEET JESS

I'm JESS EKSTROM

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